Do you approach change with anticipation or apprehension? Does it matter what the change is that determines how you deal with it?
Sometimes change comes to us by choice and other times it shows up as an unwelcome visitor. Change is something that we have control over by certain decisions in our lives, yet at times change happens to us by events that take place within us or around us. But we are still given the option to face it and deal with it or run away from it.
There is a saying that states "The one thing you can count on never to change is the fact that everything changes!" Right now in my life there are enormous changes taking place, and change is also encompassing the lives of many of my family members and friends. I have one family member starting a brand new job, another family member in a new relationship and still another family member that just moved. I have friends who just got engaged and a friend recently diagnosed with cancer. Each one of these loved ones is facing incredible change. Some by choice, some not.
I grew up with constant change in my life. I was the child of divorce, many times over. My stepdad (who apparently loved change) moved us every couple of years. So these two areas of change in my life brought a range of different emotions. The divorces brought tremendous sadness and fear as well as extreme feelings of abandonment and not being good enough. Moving from city to city taught me to have a sense of wonder and excitement and it held an exciting appeal to it, looking forward to meeting new friends and living in new locations! I do have to credit my mother for teaching me to have this anticipatory attitude towards change, to this day I look at change as exciting and adventurous.
Does your outlook on change depend on whether you have a sense of adventure or not? Does it depend on the type of change you are faced with? There are many factors that come into play when facing any sort of change. But even if you fret over change, know that the one thing you DO have control over is your response to change.
Each one of us facing change, wanted or unwanted, has the choice in how we respond. I've shared this with my clients, family and friends and will continue to share this insightful principle that Jack Canfield teaches. It is a simple yet profound formula called E+R=O. The Event + your Response = the Outcome. The Event is what it is. It's already happened, or it is currently happening, you can't change it. Your Response to this event is where you hold so much power. Your response (and you very well may have hundreds of different responses to choose from) will directly affect your Outcome.
Even if something bad and horrible is affecting you at this moment...your response to it weighs very heavily on the outcome you are going to experience. Be aware that there are many different attitudes to have towards any Event, and if what you are experiencing (your outcome) is not what you want or like, consider adjusting your response to this change.
Ask yourself "What is a different response I can have? What is a different approach? What is good about this change? What new attitude do I need to have that will help me to accept this new change?" And keep asking yourself questions until you find an answer that will help you get through whatever change is going on in your life.
Next time you are faced with change, remember to use Jack Canfields E+R=O formula! Your approach to change is in your control. You have the power!